anythingworld

You clicked. Curious little devil. Just couldn't resist a day in the life of Liz, eh? Or maybe you didn't click it. Maybe you kept hitting tab until it was on the title and then hit enter. Hmm, very clever of you, Or me. Or that werewolf behind you who is the one who actually did it. Either way, this is my blog. Oh, and feel free to comment.

The Fourth Of July!

I really didn't do anything special for the 4th, so this really isn't about hte holiday.

I was walking my dogs with me mum that morning and there's the grey jay that lives in a tree by this parking lot we passed, and its always been a nasty little bugger- it kinda swoops around a lot, but it was being extra annoying today. I mean that day. Independence Day. Well, the 231st anniversary of it anyway. Speaking of anyway....

So I was holding Ozzie, and he's part bird dog so he noticed this grey jay and started barking and running towards it.

That damn thing swooped in and made 'im go running after it. With me being dragged behind him. Was once enough for the Grey Jay of Unhappiness? NO.

It followed us. I know I sound paranoid, but that jay does it every time. It'll get a little ahead of Ozzie, it sits on the pavement and waits for him. Really. F-ing little jay pretends it hurt its wing. Awwwww, poor little jaaaaaay.

No. It's not cute. It's the enemy.

That jay messes with him. It follows us all the way down the river and back up every time and it'll do that thing where it pretends to be hurt, then Ozzie runs up to it, and it flies down and teases him more.

He can't catch it. And it knows that.

In conclusion.... does anyone have a BB-gun I could borrow? *puppie dog eyes* Please.

ROFLOL. You can borrow my dad’s if you promise to ignore the rust.

That was a glorious little story. Where do you live, so I can drop a few more grey jays off? Just kidding.

No, one grey jay is more than enough. *nervous laughter*

Oh, and M_K, can I borrow that BB gun? The rust'll do just fine.... Birdie's goin' down.....

right-o. here tis. *hands it over* use it well.

*shakes head* such violence

Caution!- Dog Walking



Yes, this is another story about the exciting job of dog-walking,- which on the weekends, is usually my mom's job. However, for whatever reason, she felt it necessary to wake me up before six in the morning to walk them down to the river today.

At least it was early enough so all the grey jay did was squawk at us when we passed- it was too tired to do much else. Lucky little arsehole.

Now, my mom always rants and raves about the people who walk their dogs down by the river- Tony and Little Bear, Debbie and Albert, What's-his-name and Chachi, Shadow and Shadow's owner, Cleo and that guy. So I guess I was a little excited to meet them from my mom's stories. Just not at six in the morning.

So we get there and I finally get to meet their little clique, and when we got there, Chachi was there with his owner and Tony and Little Bear. The only story my mom's told me about Chachi is that he's a little pig-dog that once ate a pillow and crapped out a twelve-inch blue thread. Nasty. And his owner talks a lot (which I didn't know, but do now), but they were on their way out anyway.

The other guy there was Little Bear and Tony- who's retired and really nice. He takes Bear down there everyday and is like the grandfather of the group.

So, he walked with me and my mum down to the end of the trail. Now, the path down by the river is paved for a little by the big pipes under it, but soon you come to an old metal fence and it gets a ton of graffiti and pipes sticking out after that. When I was a kid, my friends used to spread rumors about the rats back there, but it's really an okay place.

But, after we got back there, we were passing this steep, rock formation that looks over the river and I noticed a Tarzan swing (no, it wasn't a vine, but someone had tied a rope and chain to the top of a high tree and attatched a little block to the bottom.

I couldn't pass it up.

The first swing was alright, I went out over the water and landed back about half-way down the rocks. The second time, I was trying to swing from too far back, and I couldn't quite hold onto it, so I slipped and landed a few feet lower. Third time's the charm I figured. Yeah, in a bad way. I grabbed the chain from the same height and swung with a decent grip..... and landed in two feet of water. It was okay though, so whatever.

So, this other dog- Little Bear. He's a lot like Ozzie (the moron that gets bullied by a bird), who also has a thing for swimming. Ozzie once swam so far out on the river that he was about ten feet away from a passing barge in the middle of the Mon (monongahela). The difference is, Little Bear's smarter and really likes to play fetch.

So how it goes will start with Little Bear finding a stick, and he's very picky (in two ways). One way, I mean that he's very particular about his sticks, but the other way is that he likes to chew the sticks down to a size he likes. After the stick has been chosen and gnawed at a little, he brings it to Tony and Tony throws it into the river. Ozzie and Little Bear both run in. Bear gets it every time, but Ozzie's really only doing it to get wet. If Little Bear gets particularly attatche to one, he'll hide it in the bushes and get it again next time (or so I'm told).

So, on the walk back, Tony and my mom got excited because they saw a dog who was apparently a regular- Cleo, the thing was, she wasn't with the usual guy who brings her. So they were really confused, but it turned out to be the guy's wife, and she was a.... character. She came wearing a bright yellow T-shirt that said Psyco Ward '88 (It's a Pittsburgh thing) and drinking a huge cup of coffee. She was worse than Chachi's owner. I'm not going to get into details, but they had me run around the field with the dogs, which was fun I guess, except it was about eight in the morning by now, I hadn't had breakfast or caffeine, I was still half-wet and a little battered from my big swing, and Ozzie was drooling. Did I mention he does that? It's crazy how much that dog slobbers.

So we finally left around ten in the morning. Because, you know, those crazy people who don't wear Psyco Ward shirts and feed their dogs pillows and wake up at five every morning to walk their dogs and get humiliated by grey jays and swing off of rocks on unstable Tarzan swings and drink cups of coffee the size of their heads and call their dogs "The Embassador" (my mom's new nickname for Maple because she runs up to great people) were coming.

Wow that was long. *sleeps*

wait...mo.. is it the same path that you can bike ride on and there are all these people that don't understand the meaning off "on your left" so they walk right in front of your bike and you have to crash into a tree instead of hitting them.......the one behind the giant eagle???

Sure is, but I mean, you know right where the trail passes by that parking lot and train tracks and you have to sometimes switch to the grass if you're on a bike because they leave that yellow barrier thing down. Couple blocks before you hit REI (or after it if you're coming from that direction which I don't know if you do or not). If you go to the side of the bike path where the parking lot goes out into the dirt trails where you can go right next to the river, that's where I'm talking about.

oh...i know where

lolz

psst...i know where u live!!

And I know where you do too.

The Escape

It's not very hard to guess what happened, given the title. Maple escaped, see she's a really shy dog and gets very skittish during thunderstorms. Which we had today. I wasn't home when it happened, but the story is that my dad opened the door and she ran out.

I got home about an hour later, and after putting on my mp3 player and mouthing the lyrics to a Rent song while looking through Wikipedia, my dad told me about it and I stood up, put my boots on, grabbed my cell phone, and ran out the door to go look for her.

Looking for her was a long story, and I'd tell the story, but frankly I don't feel like typing it out. Let's just say there was a lot of cell phone ringing, shouting, a bicycle, a skinny old guy named Don, buses, cowgirl boots, blisters, construction workers, a mysterious bag full of water, blue lipstick, a rabbit, a second lost dog, a baseball diamond, pink hair, goose sh*t, and honeysuckle. Use your imagination.

After my mom (who met me down by the dirt trails) and I made it back home, I was hungry, I was thirsty, I was tired, and I was barefoot. So we sat outiside in case she found her way back, read, called in a pizza, and waited for a phone call. In case you where wondering, I was reading Pilgrims of Rayne and my mom was reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. But you probably weren't.

I was gone when my mom got the phone call. Someone had found Maple and called the humane society and traced her to us. So everyone was excited and we went outisde, Ozzie, Lady, me, my mom, and Don, and waited. And waited. She just got here about half an hour ago. The lady that brought her back passed up our house looking for us, even thogugh I was sitting in the doorway reading. Moron. But a nice moron (Lena: like Elyse.... only nice.....). So me and my mum brought her in and she's been limping. We checked it out and it turns out she's got a nasty cut on her foot. I'm not that worried though, it looks like it'll heal. All's well that ends well. Except the cut and my current lack of blue striped socks, and the fact Lady has to wear that ridiculous pink collar and I have cement in my hair and.... let's just leave it at all's well that ends well, 'kay?

lolz Elyse only nice...so like Elyse's mother???

blue lipstick....good times....

good thing Maples back

you know i've never met your dogs.....



ok done

Ooooh, burn.

Oh, and anyone who reads this, get ready for a two-week gap. I'm goin' to summer camp, but I'll update when I get back.

Ho hum... 'Suppose I Should Update, huh?

Weeeeeeell, I just got back from two weeks at camp, so I guess I should probably write about those, right? Nah, too little to say and much too much time to say it. I mean... reverse that, no, wait, erm.... let's not talk about camp.

...

*searches brain*

*can't find it*

*watches a fly zoom around, and around.... and around....





















...and around





















































...and around



















































...**SPLAT**

Oh, dear....

Well, about camp- see, it's called Camp Redwing, and it has this creek that runs through it. It's really the Conequenscent or something, but everyone at camp just calls it the Connie. Everything that goes in or comes of of the Connie has stuff screwed up about it- theories range from Nuclear power plant to liquified tire store to evil Purple Stew Monster, but the point is, Connie stuff= mutated. And the week before our camp session got there, some campers from O'chad (will be explained momentarily) found a baby in the Connie. No, not a living, breating, pooping, barfing, stinking, eating, crying baby, but a headless, beat up, running-positioned, plastic baby doll. It's the Connie baby that they keep in the log cabin in a cage and toss mini corndogs to. The thing is, the Orchidians are never believed about anything. We are the freaks across the Creek.

Camp Redwing is split into two sides of the Connie- Main Camp, home to five units (not including Barn staff's tents), the nurse's office, Mary Lodge, the Haven, Dining Hall, pool, non-haunted Archery field (guess who's got the one with all the ghostie rumors), barn, Ampitheatre, parking lot, flushing toilets, showers, and vast majority of camp- and Orchidians, natives to the solo unit Orchard (also known as O'chad or Orchad because we apparently don't deserve our R), home to a steep hill leading to our tents, a mysterious log cabin nobody's allowed into, canoes, stinging nettle, the Connie Baby, mutated Connie bugs, the corral (actually just the Arts and Crafts building), haunted Archery field they no longer use, and two porta-potties. Hence, the freaks across the creek.

For my next couple of blog entries, I will tell the glamourous tales of the legendary Orchadians and everyone's favorite mutated Rubber Duckie- Conrad! Stay tuned.

wait a minute...mo.. the connie runs threw your camp... it goes past mine too (Camp Kon-o-Kwee) weird we haven't found any babies in the connie but we found one in deer valleys lake!! (it was tied to the bottom)

Tied to the bottom... The Connie runs through your camp too!! This actually explains a lot.....

EDIT: (August 12th) Okay y'all, figured I'd put this here- I'm in DC this week, so I won't really be on much. I have some computer access, but I'm staying with a friend so I'll only be on a couple minutes when I am. So... yeah.

it wasn't a real baby it was a doll but it was still pretty funny

sat hi to your friend in dc for me!!!!

Too late now!

*tear*

wtf.....babies tied to the bottoms of rivers? ya'll are WEIRD.

Look who's talking!

-I CLICKED-

I AM LUNA LOVEGOOD.

All will be explained at a later time.